The Age of Backwards

i'm really stunning, y'know, and people have told me that they are often struck temporarily blind by the brilliance of my smile. my mom congatulates herself daily for helping to enhance the world by bringing me into it. my friends, when they see me approaching, are like, "(sigh) here she is, oh, how we are blessed and fortunate!" it really is unbelievable how i managed to retain my humility and 'aw-shucks'ness that endears me so to everyone.

Thursday, December 23, 2004

GETTING TO KNOW YOU

Twenty Questions:

1. Tell me something obvious about you.

I swear a lot. A goddamn motherfucking hell lot. If vulgarities were vowels, mine would be used as frequently as the 'e'.

2. Tell me something about you that many don't know.

I'm a compulsive thing-smeller. I have to smell everything i touch. For instance, everytime i take off my socks, i have to take a sniff. that's logical right? how else will you know when its time to wash them?

3. What is your biggest fear?

That something bad will happen to my mother. That 10 years later, i'll be as clueless as i am now.

4. Do you normally go the safe route or take the short cut?

i'd get lost on either route anyway, and end up having to call macy in fucksville foaming at the mouth, so.

5. Name one thing you want that you can't buy with money.

the love and respect of my peers. or, y'know, durians. cos those are really hard to get here.

6. What is your most treasured possession?

i'd have said my cd collection a few year ago, then i got my mp3 player and soulseek, so that's out. got a pretty decent collection of tv series on dvds, but i wouldn't cry and get all melodramatically angsty if i lost them. i got abunch of letters from some friends before i left that were really personal, and made me tear up in the plane, so those.

7. What is the one thing you hate most about yourself that you do often?

my constant apologising. i have no idea why. my brain goes, 'fuck off, you worthless cunt" and my mouth goes, 'sorry'.

8. What is your favorite lie to tell?

"um, okay" *smirks*

9. Name something you've done once that you can't wait to do again.

going to gigs at the Commodore Ballroom. watching your idols rocking out less than a hundred metres away is a fucking rush. Please, please, please sleater-kinney, tour vancouver!

10. Are you the jealous type?

i'd like to think not, but the greeneyed demon does possess me sometimes, and it usually manifests in ways that leave me cringing for days/years after.

11. What is the one person, place or thing you can't say no to?

please, like anyone who knows me doesnt know i'm a freaking pushover. and the people who take advantage of that, you know who you are.

12. What is the nicest thing someone has ever done for you?

there've been lots, but off the top of my head, sean, for giving me a kick in the ass and motivating me to do something with myself (gym, college etc) besides, who else would wake up at 8 in the morning to go the canadian education centre with me just to submit my application?

13. If you could do something crazy right now, what would it be?

attempt to pick up the next hottie i come across.

14. When was the last time you cried?

sitting in the hk international airport, waiting for my transit flight, not knowing what was going to happen next, and reading emo letters from friends. i also choked up a little talking to my mom (who forget it was my birthday until like, the day after and thought i had just turned 18), realizing that its gonna be at least 8 months before i get to see my family.

15. When was the last time you felt so good that nothing else mattered?

walking around davie street in downtown vancouver on a clear september day with headphones plugged in and mp3 player on random play.

just for that one day, the possibilites were infinite.

16. Do you feel comfortable in public with no shirt on?

heh. i don't even feel comfortable wearing shorts, so, no.

17. Name something embarrassing you did while drunk.

ha. haha. hahahaha. hmm.. where to start? aiyah, anyone who has known me for more than 5 minutes has already be regaled with my tales of public drunkeness. now would be a good time to applogize to those subjected to my numerous 'i love yous' though...

18. Name one person, past or present, with whom you’d like to spend the day.

i'd mention the brownstein again, except that i think the day would probably be horrible awkward, what with all the prostrating and gawking coming from my end.. so.. probably my dad.

am i going to hell for putting my favorite guitarist ahead of my dead father?

19. Name one place you’ve never been and would like to go, and tell me why.

New York, to see what the fuss is about.

20. What’s the story behind your online persona/name?

beats me. you think i wanna be stuck with the name 'dada ang'? its not something an interviewer can say while keeping a straight face..


Friday, December 10, 2004

hedonism kicks ass, up to the point where yr hands can't stop trembling and standing upright becomes an impossible feat. this entire month feels like a its gelled together into one alternately nightmarish and fogged up haze. numbing up to avoid the tedium of having to pretend you care, putting 'longview' on repeat and basking in self-pity and and guilt, for feeling any at all, cos in the end i'm just some over-privileged spoiled kid who has the audacity to sit around and complain about how my diamond shoes don't fit and that the gold buckles make them too heavy to walk around in.

perhaps, everything i ever wished for wasn't what i really wanted